My eyes are bigger than my stomach.

10 November 2012

My personal track record seems to be telling me 

that it’s hard for me to be totally honest with myself about myself, 

both about what I can do and what I can’t or won’t or don’t want to do. 

On a quite regular basis,

I tell myself I’ll do it and I have a good feeling about that I’m going to do it 

and I go to bed thinking about how I am going to do it 

and feeling good as I drift into sleep on that certainty. 

And then, when I wake up ?  

It’s a

- Whole

- Different

- World

- Different

- Story

- Different

- fuckin’

      UNIVERSE, 

and I have NO desire to do it at all, 

which leaves me wondering when it was, exactly, 

how it was, please,

that I told or bought the lie, 

slipped it in and swallowed it.

Fall Back, Time.

Where I live, here in Upstate New York, this coming Sunday 4 November at 2:00 am, it'll be time to set the clock back sixty minutes; you know, "Fall back, Spring ahead." For me, this Daylight Savings horseshit puts the pressure on and yet also takes it off all at the same time cuz the action of changing the clocks serves to remind me that we're heading into the dark, cold, shorter days of winter. But it takes the pressure off, too, since I'll be able to drag my ass out of bed in the morning at what the clock will say is 8:00 (okay, I'll actually get out of bed around 10:00 or later) but it'll actually be an hour earlier, so I'll have had an extra hour of sleep. Thing is, though, knowing I'm going to have that extra hour of sleep, I'll stay up at least an hour later cuz I'll be thinking, "Hey, I get to sleep an  hour later anyway...," so the "extra hour of sleep" is really a moot point anyway then, right?"